hoekage: somebody needs to fucking kiss me
baaabys: twistedviper: whorusszahhak: perfectionistdia: whorusszahhak: don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you. thatS...
zombikki: veganasfuck: how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. this is the best joke ever
glamour-parade: How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
dysphorism: siregberttheokayscrewslamps: ...
thehobodad: For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life.
yay! its my birthday! :D
krvsty: yeah boyfriends are pretty cool but have u ever heard of chocolate fountains
swasticunts: I tamagotchu pregnant
g2gfast: today my little brother (hes six) put a seashell to his ear and told me the ocean said im a nerd